The Shadow over the Petal
by MissCreepyBear
Summary: I regret leaving. I regret leaving the dobe and my sensei. I regret joining the pedophile, Orochimaru. I regret leaving the hopeful face framed by pink hair I saw every mission almost every day. I would do so much just to see it again. A Sasusaku fic.
1. Regrets

**The Shadow over the Petal**

Sasusaku fic. Little idea I had and might be more than a oneshot. Hope you like :)

* * *

I regret leaving. I regret leaving the dobe and my sensei. I regret joining the pedophile, Orochimaru. I regret leaving the hopeful face framed by pink hair I saw every mission almost every day. I would do so much just to see it again. But there's is one thing I must do before that... I must avenge my family. Maybe then, even if I'm jailed, or sentenced to death, or even lynched for my betrayal, I hope I can see that face once again. I hope she still feels the same way.

* * *

They're here, at the base. First I see my replacement, and then a substitute captain... and then I see those aqua green eyes filled with desire as a wave of nostalgia and desire wash over me. But I mask it with what seems a lack of emotions to them. Her green eyes flash with surprise as I go down to pretend to attack the dobe. I just want them out... So they don't see what I've become... And I'm sure this sub-captain is nothing special to them... So I go ahead and attack him to 'prove' lack of concern for them or our bonds. Thank God he could block it out... I don't want anyone but that man who killed my family to die.

* * *

He... he's innocent? It was Danzo and the village elders' plot the whole time. They made Itachi kill his family... He begged to keep me alive... But I killed him. They ruined so many lives... and they must pay. Konoha must learn the painful life it has dealt me. But that girl... Could I really do that to her? Can I truly show her suffering? Or will my feelings hold me back?

* * *

She wants to join me. I see the pleading and longing in her eyes, and I know it's no trick. But I can't allow her to have this life... So I tell her to kill this girl who ceaslessly flirts with me despite my obvious discust towards her. I know she can't do it... That's why it's the task I give her.

* * *

I sense her come up behind me and I don't care. She's holding a kunai at my back with too much hesitation. She still feels the same way! But... I wish she didn't. This will make it all the more painful for her. Maybe I should kill her now and keep her from hurting any more... No I shouldn't... But maybe pretending I'm trying to kill her will deter her from wanting me back and ease the sting. Maybe... However, I Uchiha Sasuke, am still in love with Haruno Sakura.

* * *

**Author's note:** These are little tidbits I think(or maybe hope) Sasuke feels in the real story. Next chapter will be same but for Sakura probably. BTW, I have fully converted to a Sasusaku fan and am partial on NaruSaku, 'cause I can not stand Naruhina!


	2. Longing

**The Shadow over the Petal**

Here's the second chapter, already out!

* * *

He's leaving his life... Everything. I don't want him to go. I couldn't bare losing those onyx eyes... and though he had never shown any particular affection towards me, I beg him to take me... But he gives me a few meaningless words and leaves me out cold on a bench without a trace... and from that second on, I know that one day... One day I will be strong enough to bring him home! Or at least, strong enough for him to take me with him.

* * *

There he is. In all his glory, there stands the object of my chase. All longing pours out of my eyes as he stands there at the top of this crater. I say his name, and barely notice as Naruto runs up beside me. He says my name and I'm paralyzed, except for the fluttering hope in my heart as it beats hard and fast. But those black eyes are saved for me, no matter how cold and emotionless they are, I'm honored they've chosen me to behold. I only wish... That he would've taken me, but he got away too quick, before I could even speak to him... If only Naruto had held his big mouth shut for a few more seconds, maybe.. maybe I could have asked him... and maybe he would've said yes.

* * *

He has killed his older brother... At least, at the site of the fight, there is no site of either body,and it was his brother's blood that was found in vast amounts. And I refused to believe he lost the match. But... Then why didn't he return? I thought that was all he desired? But maybe he didn't want to see the annoying and pleading kunoichi who was desparate for him every step of the way or the misunderstanding villagers or the anoying ramenholic that babbled on about a bond... But, then again, perhaps there was another reason... I must continue my search, and get the truth.

* * *

I find him. And I beg him again to take me with him and pledge my undying loyalty to him... But his eyes get distant, and he tells me to kill this seemingly innocent woman who's suffering with injuries in beteen us. I pull out a kunai. Can I do this? She's innocent and currently defensless.. but love has no bounds, so as I mentally prepare my self I get in the stance but give it another moments hesitation... I would do it, and I was about to throw it.. but my team came and that girl was lucky... but he got away.

* * *

I sneak up behind him, knowing that killing him is the right thing to do for my village... but I can't do it... All the memories of our past all comes washing over me. he notices me and gets behind me and makes his chidori... and I plan to let him kill me, because a life in which he cares this little for me... It's not really worth it because HE is my purpose. If my purpose wants me to be gone, then why should I even try. In the split second it took Kakashi to rescue me, he could have killed me... He didn't. I wonder if there are any feelings in that seemingly cold hollow shell. I do know ,however, that I, Haruno Sakura, am still in love with Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

**Author's Note:** A replica of the last chapter only from Sakura's point of view. From now on, though, it will be my story, and not a recollection of the past.


	3. Sleep

**The Shadow over the Petal **

I just keep getting ideas so I'm getting chapters of the story out real quick, but that's always the way I am in the beginning. I'll probably slow down around chapter 10, but not purposefully, just because of idea shortage.

* * *

I stare at the ceiling of the room I rented out at a hotel. I had run a long way after gathering Juugo and Suigetsu. We were in some small town on the border of Wind country and Fire country. It's dark out, and I haven't slept for over 24 hours, but I can't sleep. I can't get her out of my minds eye and see her everytime I close my eyes... It's that face... The one she gave me when I held the chidori to her back... The face of acception... Had she really given up? Had she really planned on letting me drive that chidori blade through her heart? Either way, if Kakashi had not come, she still would not have died, for all it would have taken is another split second hesitation and she would have realized it wasn't my intetion to kill her... but why in God's name had she accepted her death so easily? She could have dodged that as I was purposely being slow for weilding a chidori... These thoughts tumbling ceaselessly through my head, I get up and go get a glass of water.

* * *

"Yo, Sasuke! You look terrible! Didja get any sleep last night?" Suigetsu was the only one in our group even trying to keep a positive attitude. I, being me, did not feel any need to acknoledge that stupid question as the answer was obvious with the dark circles under my eyes. Suigetsu, unlike Juugo, didn't seem the slight bit upset about Karin leaving; well, it's less like leaving and more like me kicking her out. I could not stand that idiotic woman and her constant attempts at stealing my heart... Only one person has my heart, but she most likely thinks it gone. I don't believe she was ever aware of my feelings towards her... And I want now more than ever for her to know.

"Uh, Sasuke? You zoned out or somthing?" His words did not penetrate my thoughts I was currently pondering.

"Perhaps, Suigetsu, our friend just wants some quiet," Juugo the ever thoughtful one said.

I sit on my bed for a moment as a crazy plan invades my mind.

*"Juugo, Suigetsu come here," and they both come up to me. "Juugo, do we have enough money to rent this room out a couple more days?"

"Yes, I do believe so," Juugo calmly stated.

"Good. I'm going to be gone a couple days and I want you guys to stay here." They gave me an odd look and simply agreed to do so. I grab my bag and I head out.

It wasn't until night I reached the outer wall. I pulled a cloak over my head and subtly disguise my chakra. I hop through a blind spot over the wall and I begin heading through the village... It's not the same village... It is in size and location, but this village is newly built as result of Pein's assault on the village. However, the village did seem to be in the same order so I head for my destination.

I access through a door whose lock I've just picked and quietly walk up the stairs of the building towards the chakra of the one I'm after... There's the door. I open it quietly and she immediately bolts upright kunai in hand staring straight at me.

"S-sasuke?" she whispers and drops the kunai on the floor. "W-what are you doin-" I interupt her with a kiss and when I pull back, she stares at me wide-eyed. She grabs hold of my hair tangling her fingers in it and pulls me in for another kiss while my right hand moves to her face and my left to her waist. I then pulled off her clothes and she mine and I made love to her.*

"Hey Sasuke, are you awake?" I was abruptly awoken by an annoying voice- Suigetsu.

"Hn." He woke me from a dream I was not ready to let slip out of my mind. My eyes stay shut. I remember each kiss and everytime I pulled her closer when I didn't think it was possible to get any closer. It seemed so real... And I wish with an aching heart to see Sakura.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hehe I threw in a little dream ^^ I hope you like it. And BTW I'm doing Sakura's point of view next! It goes in that order- I write Sasuke's Point of view on a time period, and then Sakura's, whether or not their fates twine in that time period.


	4. Dream

**The Shadow over the Petal**

Yay! I got my chapter out! I'm SOO tired of school already, and i just got back from christmas vaca... XP

* * *

It's been over a day since I saw him... Over a day since I held the kunai to his back and hesitated to kill him... Since **he** held the chidori at my back and hesitated to kill **me**. It's nightfall, and I hate to so much as blink. He's in my head, like a song you never get tired of and hear it over and over, because you know the guy- I mean song is perfect for you. My eyes still attempt to sag shut. The scraps of sleep I managed to have were full of restless dreams, making me even more tired. They consisted of near death experiences I've never had and he was always there to save me.

Naruto stared at me for a few moments as we were jumping throught the trees. He looked concerned and sped up to catch Kakashi-sensei. The idiot whispered something in our leader's ear and they both looked at me from the corner of their eyes.

"Okay guys," Our Sensei slowed to a stop."We should stop for camp." We all followed his lead and jumped to the small clearing below us. Naruto took out the tent, and Kakashi started a fire while Sai pulled out sleeping bags. They looked expectantly at me as they were done rather quickly. I suddenly remember _food_. I took the dried food out of my pack, along with a pot and some fresh water and tea leaves. I went through the motions all experienced tea makers know so well to the point it was mere muscle memory. All of the food and tea was handed out. The rest ate quickly and hungrily, but I felt no urge to eat. I knew that any food that went down would be quickly be regurgitated as I already tried. My body was in denial of life. It didn't want sleep, food, water, or anything. but despite everything the rest of my body did, I managed to fall into another restless sleep by sheer will.

* * *

We ran through the forest, my body rejecting every step.

"Sakura! Watch out!" Naruto yelled, not wtching his own path and we both missed our mark. I hit a tree, and I fell to the ground, head first and I instantly passed out.

*I woke up more alert than earlier with no pain or care for seeing Sasuke. We headed home, and after a flurry of examinations from my worried teacher, Tsunade-sama, I went home for a much needed sleep. I went home and into my bedroom. I was all alone in this small house, not having moved out from my parents too long ago. I took off my clothes and put on fresh ones, just a tee-shirt and of course underwear. I crawled into my bed and went into a hallow but restful sleep. However, I awoke, what seemed minutes later to the sound of soft footsteps on my stairs. I pretended I didn't hear until I felt the diturbance in the air as my door opened. I bolt upright, yanking out a kunai I always keep under my pillow as all good Shinobi do.

I look at the intruder. My eyes are intent and unmoving. When I realized I had a body with a voice, I managed to stutter out his name.

"S-Sasuke?" It barely comes out as more than a breathy whisper. I drop my kunai. "W-what are you doin-" he intercepted my unfinished sentence with a kiss. He pulled back and I stare at him in shock. His eyes... they weren't cold or emotionless; they were loving and passionate. I tangle my hands in his silky black hair and pull him in for another kiss. One of his hands was on my left cheek and the other on my waist. He began removing my clothes, and I happily let him, and I made it even. He then made love to me.*

I woke to a harsh splash of water, opening my eyes quickly and sitting up even faster. I needed to be out of that dream. As much as I enjoyed it, it's not healthy for me. I know what's good for me, but I know I can't move on with an aching jheart like this... I still love Sasuke...

* * *

**Aythor's Note: **O.O I think I like it :) It was fun to write and try to match the dreams together. And yes, in case you are wondering, the dream is happening at the same exact time!


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